Treat your mind from time to time

Tired? Sad? Mind Racing? Anxious? These uncomfortable feelings can make daily tasks feel harder, or even next to impossible. But I want you to know that you’re not alone. More than one in four Americans deal with depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and other mental conditions. A mental illness is a real medical issue. And the good news is that most of these conditions can be treated as long as you’re willing to put in the effort.

A healthy mind and positive outlook often goes hand in hand with a healthy body. While only a mental health professional can help you deal with the serious symptoms and causes of mental illness following these tips may help you feel better. Remember that most things do not happen over night, it takes work and patience to heal. You may have hear the phrase “Trust the process.”

  • Positivity is infectious, connect with others. Surround yourself with positive, caring people, and spend a lot of time with them. Remember, most times you’re a product of the company you keep. If you don’t have supportive people in your life, seek them out by joining a support group.
  • Treat yourself, save time for yourself. Make time each week to do something you enjoy; this can give life more meaning and purpose.
  • Change your perception. Train your brain. Stressful events are bound to happen in life and while you may not be able to change them, you can change how you react. Try keeping a better future in mind when dealing with a difficult moment.
  • Embrace change. Sometimes life throws changeups, curveballs, screwballs, etc… your way and what you had in mind may not be within reach anymore. Accepting when things can’t be changed can help you focus on those you may be able to control, like your attitude or your approach to dealing with them.
  • Speak to a friend or a Doctor. If you’re not feeling well, don’t assume that it’s no big deal or it’ll pass. Talk it out with someone you trust. Sometimes simply venting and expressing how you feel can alleviate some nerves. Your doctor can help you decide if your symptoms are due to a physical or mental health problem and help you develop a plan to feel better.
  • Pay attention to what you eat. A healthy, balanced diet fuels your body and keeps your blood sugar steady. This helps prevents mental highs and lows that can make depression and anxiety seem worse.
  • Manage your stress. Pay attention to how you’re feeling and don’t take on too much. It’s OK to say “No” to people or projects that place too many demands on you. Know your limits and only take on what you can handle.

Remember, you’re far from alone. As impossible as it may sound in whichever situation you find yourself in, call a friend, speak to family, a loved one, or talk to your doctor if you haven’t been feeling like yourself lately. Patience is key, trust the process.

The Power of “Can’t”.

Sooner or later, most of us who try to cope with depression feel so overwhelmed that all we can hold onto is: I just can’t do it. I can’t stop being depressed. I can’t stop it from coming back.

When “I can’t” comes rushing out, it feel like the response to an accusation. Sometimes, I feel the weight of other people’s expectations. “If you really wanted to get well, you could at least get up and get moving.” Sure, they don’t understand, they don’t get it. But I’m asking the same question of myself.

I’m answering my own accusation. “So why can’t you handle this? You’re a completely worthless weakling!” “But I just can’t!” is my only answer. I’ve internalized the stigma and prejudice and feebly try to respond. I don’t trust myself. What if I am faking this? What if I’m just afraid to face things? I know that isn’t true, but there’s the inner belief that I ought to be able to snap out of depression. But there’s nothing left to fight with. Everything deserts me: vitality, willpower, feelings, the ability to think clearly about getting well, to make choices, to take action. The inner drive to get well is replaced by the depressive drive to get worse or simply stagnate.

When I’m trying to cope in that condition, all I can do is to start where I am. Since I can’t do anything, just where would that starting point be? Depression gifts you with extraordinarily vivid, powerful, detailed memories of all your mistakes, failures, weaknesses, embarrassments. You have absolute clarity of mind for the negatives, and they build a case of shame and worthlessness. Severe depression, after all, really wants to destroy you, literally if possible. So it leaves you the mental and emotional equipment to undermine your life.

That’s what I’m obsessed with. At the same time, though, I’m aware that I’m tearing myself down. I see what I’m doing to myself, and another level of awareness opens up. I want to stop the depression. I really want to feel better. I may not be able to do much to end it, but I know I want to come alive again.

“Life isn’t fair”

We hear it, we say it, think it, because now more than ever…its true

First and foremost, I would like to start off by apologizing for my lack of content lately. Things have been extremely busy in my personal life with my health, relationships, work, finances, and an unstable society. “It just isn’t fair”.

Not necessarily a story, and this is not pinpointed to a certain thought or situation. All right, I’ll start with “life just isn’t fair” (right now).

Just for some perspective for myself, and you the reader. By no means am I rich, but I’d like to think I certainly do well for myself in my career, extracurriculars, studies, and my entrepreneurial endeavors on the side. With the good there is obviously the bad, there’s no escaping it regardless of who you are.

Now I’m gonna throw out a median annual income of approximately $60 to $70,000 a year. I’m In my late 20s, single, and no kids. I have my own car thats efficient, economical, and nice to drive. A one bedroom apartment in Tucson no more than 670 square feet. I don’t eat out, and go out with friends once in a blue moon. Given the choice, id rather save than spend.

Doing everything to the best of my ability, and yet I cannot afford my simple lifestyle. Two years ago, I was paying $1215 in rent and $65 for parking each month. Fast forward 1.5 years and a $275 increase in rent, inflation rising at an unprecedented rate for anything and everything, and things begin to get a little tight.

Let’s throw in a few more obstacles. Medical bills in excess over $30k, Insurance being anything but the name itself. Activation of post premium co-pays bogged down by “COVID”. An example of this are a few medications Ive been taking for years now, as well as some fairly new ones due to my current health situation.

Going back one year from today: March of 2021. My medications for the month ran anywhere from $55-$75 monthly. As of yesterday, those same medications cost me over $180. According to an article released by https://www.bloomberg.com/ Inflation hit a 40 year high with an increase of 7.9% in one year. The average rate of increase for the U.S is an easy to swallow 1.23%. This all of course does not include skyrocket gas and home prices.

“Life isn’t fair”. That statement holds true not just for me, but as well as my peers and other demographics not too far off. Our salaries do not reflect today’s necessary standards to live comfortably. Saving is non existent, the hopes and dreams of buying my first home is completely out of reach as I just cannot compete with offers in cash over asking price. The days of working a Factory Job and representing the middle class are far from over. Despite all these financial challenges in the way of those monumental steps climbing the “Adulthood Ladder”. We’re apparently on our own.

I do hope, and I do want to be optimistic about the future. I do want to enjoy what I’ve worked for and whats to come. Lets hope greed, wall-street, lobbyists, and the ones we apparently elect do something for us the constituents. I’m done feeling like a failure when the ceiling is just too high. Truly “Life isn’t Fair”.

Why do I push people away?

To explain in its most simple form from my perspective requires only two words: Defense Mechanism. What I’ve discovered is vulnerability takes a lot of courage and resolve, and adding to the anxiety is the reaction of an outside party and if the effort was worth it.  In life, we live and learn from our experiences.  Despite this, and due to previous cases of having my trust broken or my vulnerability of being taken advantage of leads to the activation of my defense mechanism. In turn, I naturally push people away.

t’s not uncommon to prefer your own company over that of others, regardless if you’re an introvert or extrovert. While there is nothing wrong with some downtime and relaxation, it’s the extreme that becomes a difficult issue to handle. The mistake I unknowingly find myself constantly making is my self imposed isolation.  Instead of allowing my mind to relax, I end up exposing my fragile state of mind to overthinking.

Stuck.  Stuck is where I’m at. I’ve become emotionally unavailable to those who love me because I feel like I don’t deserve love.  I do not love myself, therefore how can I love fairly? I don’t handle what should be a positive experience well, and the negative I’ve grown accustomed to.  This attitude has become second nature to me, and is essentially a part of my being. I view any and all relationships from a detached perspective and refrain from building stronger bonds, and I don’t want to be stuck with this mindset.  I find myself withdrawing from social interaction thinking I’m protecting my mental health, but the truth is all I’m doing is further damaging myself. 

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There is never a single solution to problems that involve your mental health and being isolated.  While communication and openness can be one approach, the other approach is to withdraw entirely and avoid any contact with anyone who might have the potential to cause hurt or stress.  Both approaches help in reducing the stress of the situation but only one is productive while the other is nothing but avoidant coping mechanisms.  Avoidant coping or defense mechanism is by its very own definition a maladaptive coping method.  Rather than confronting the situation and finding an active solution via participation and acceptance, avoidance coping refrains from taking any active action. 

Some examples of this are:

  1. Not answering or returning calls or messages
  2. Sending few or no messages to anyone asking to meet or catch up
  3. Backing out of premade plans constantly
  4. Avoiding getting interested in other people’s lives or emotional state
  5. Replying with short, clipped, or blunt responses.

 We all need someone who understands our feelings, acknowledges our fears, and hears our thoughts without judgment.  It should come as no surprise that scientific research consistently shows that humans need one another in their lives to feel a sense of happiness and fulfillment. Retreating within yourself with some subconscious resolve of never exposing that emotional capacity is a road I’m so eagerly waiting to exit.

Visualize Time

“Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make
you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take
pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still
believe it to be a beautiful place.” ~Iain Thomas

Comparing my past to my present is something I’ve been doing a lot lately, I wouldn’t recommend doing it for too long though. It’s like trying to get to the next page, chapter, or even series of a book, but you can’t due to consistently flipping pages in the opposite direction. Rather than evaluate and compare, I need to form the habit of just processing, limiting retention, and allowing the force of time to do it’s thing.

It’s always easy to say you’ll do something, but taking action is what’s difficult. To combat the urge of putting something off, or simply saying “I’ll do it later, or I’ll start tomorrow” I created an artboard through Adobe Illustrator to visualize all the days I’ve lived, as well as an estimate of the days I have left based on the median life expectancy in the United States for a male. I have been on this planet for a total of 10,788 days. In 19,212 days, I’ll hit my 82nd birthday. I went to https://imrodmartin.com/my-days to quickly punch in my birthday to get my exact number. When you see it presented, you quickly realize that our time is short. Try this out and see if this sparks any change or realizations about your own life.


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