It’s worth sticking around to maybe make my little corner of the world a slightly better place. That’s all there is , happiness is amazing, so amazing it doesn’t matter if it’s yours or not.
There’s that lovely thing some people say “A society grows great when old men plant trees for the shade in which they know they will never sit”. Good people will do things for other people because nothing is as good in life if you can’t simply share it (had to learn this the hard way). I still have my downs, but then life throws you these interesting little things so you cant feel sorry for yourself, you gotta keep going because life is incredibly short. Tell the people in your life how much they mean to you, tell them you love them because a reminder never hurts.
I once had a mind of Quicksand,
That dragged ideas into its depths,
Inhaling specks of sunlight,
Every time I drew a breaths,
Bit the worlds thought me a hazard,
When every word I spoke, I meant,
So around me they put up caution,
And filled me with cement.
I once had a mind of tree roots,
Using the lack of light to thrive,
Discovering it’s in darkness,
That we learn to feel alive,
But the world thought me too tangled,
That my mind reached far too wide,
So they ripped me from the earth,
Where constant sunlight left me dried.
I once had a mind of storm clouds,
with every lesson I grew tall,
Until I’d finally seen enough,
To let my observations fall,
But the world trapped them in buckets,
Before they could taste them on their tongue,
For surely minds are shallow,
When they belong to someone young.
November 24th, 2019 is the day, actually night I should say where this story takes place. It’s been just over two weeks since my Ex had broken up with me, and things were believe it or not actually beginning to feel better. I had accepted the reality that my life was different now, and as I had mentioned before, change is incredibly difficult for anyone when it hits you unexpectedly. Of course I was still fresh in my emotions, but now that I look back, it didn’t feel as painful back then as it does now. Maybe because my Ex and I were still checking on one another, helping smoothen the process of this change. I even had planned a solo trip on the 5th of December to Austin, Texas in hopes of keeping my mind occupied with things other than the breakup.
In regard to the sharing a personal anecdote when people tell you something I want to explain a bit why this gets to me so much. There’s a host of reasons, but mainly it comes down to how empathy works for me personally.
Why do we wait for the end of the year to make changes to our lifestyle? It’s almost like were all stuck in some sort of time loop where event and sayings often repeat themselves.
Be more outgoing
learn a new word daily
Finally learn Spanish
Learn to Dance
blah blah blah
Truth be told, I think the only one I accomplished was the lose weight part. Right after high school I gained what people call The Freshman Fifteen…for me it was more along the lines of The Freshman Fifty. With sports gone, and A LOT of free time I gained weight like crazy. It wasn’t until my brutally honest grandfather called me obese that I made the change. It just may have been a coincidence that the change happened right around the corner of New Years.
“A comfort zone is a wonderful and comfortable place to be, but nothing ever grows there“