Visualize Time

“Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make
you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take
pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still
believe it to be a beautiful place.” ~Iain Thomas

Comparing my past to my present is something I’ve been doing a lot lately, I wouldn’t recommend doing it for too long though. It’s like trying to get to the next page, chapter, or even series of a book, but you can’t due to consistently flipping pages in the opposite direction. Rather than evaluate and compare, I need to form the habit of just processing, limiting retention, and allowing the force of time to do it’s thing.

It’s always easy to say you’ll do something, but taking action is what’s difficult. To combat the urge of putting something off, or simply saying “I’ll do it later, or I’ll start tomorrow” I created an artboard through Adobe Illustrator to visualize all the days I’ve lived, as well as an estimate of the days I have left based on the median life expectancy in the United States for a male. I have been on this planet for a total of 10,788 days. In 19,212 days, I’ll hit my 82nd birthday. I went to https://imrodmartin.com/my-days to quickly punch in my birthday to get my exact number. When you see it presented, you quickly realize that our time is short. Try this out and see if this sparks any change or realizations about your own life.


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Cancer: Part 1- An Unusual Issue

Warning, this post may be graphic to some readers

It’s funny, I have a horrible short term memory but an excellent long term one. “Excellent” in my view because you only know what you know, you know? I won’t go into what I do as a career, well not yet. I had just accepted a new job offer in the field I had been trying to land in for years. This was a goal I could cross off post relationship, which is a big deal considering nine times out of ten, things turned a 180.

The date is March 9th, 2020 and tomorrow is the start of my new Job. I’m excited, yet nervous; but over all grateful to find a job at a time where most were losing theirs’, or on furlough due to the Pandemic. Things are beginning to fall into place finally. The next big thing is buying a “New”(to me) car after the Hit and Run I experienced two months prior. Like my elderly peers, I woke up and began my morning routine of coffee, breakfast, and reading the news. The news was plagued by the same thing reeking havoc on humanity, COVID-19 everywhere you turned regardless of story.

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Warning, this post may be graphic to some readers

It’s funny, I have a horrible short term memory but an excellent long term one. “Excellent” in my view because you only know what you know, you know? I won’t go into what I do as a career, well not yet. I had just accepted a new job offer in the field I had been trying to land in for years. This was a goal I could cross off post relationship, which is a big deal considering nine times out of ten, things turned a 180.

The date is March 9th, 2020 and tomorrow is the start of my new Job. I’m excited, yet nervous; but over all grateful to find a job at a time where most were losing theirs’, or on furlough due to the Pandemic. Things are beginning to fall into place finally. The next big thing is buying a “New”(to me) car after the Hit and Run I experienced two months prior. Like my elderly peers, I woke up and began my morning routine of coffee, breakfast, and reading the news. The news was plagued by the same thing reeking havoc on humanity, COVID-19 everywhere you turned regardless of story.

Continue reading →

The early years

Places I’ve lived, Family, and Growing up.

El Paso, Texas

When sharing the tub wasn’t a big deal

Throughout grade school, I was always the small kid. I was that kid regardless of the year who was always lined up in the front when it came to the class photo. If I can manage to find it, i’ll be sure to post it here! The first school I attended was Dr. Lawrence Nixon Elementary in my hometown of El Paso, Texas.

“Throughout Grade school, I moved around A LOT! 11 different schools throughout my K-12 years”

I was always aware of my height from a super young age, I suppose it was my first realization of what I would learn later as my main insecurity. To be honest though, I don’t remember ever being picked on or made fun of. My Kindergarten teacher, Ms. Foley (Yes, I remember) gave me my first nick name. Ms. Foley always called me “Jesse Bear”, which always reminded me of the Bernstein Bears. The nick name never really followed, but the moment she called me that, its a scene I can replay in my head as if it happened just yesterday. Kindergarten was odd now that I can look back. That first year of school seems to have been the longest and a year I can remember better than most. Probably because it was a year of complete first for not just me, but all of us. It’s where we form the basic foundations of our social skills and a small sense of “You”. I can still see the faces of my classmates, even after nearly 25 years. I can remember easily making friends, and even my first ever crush! My time in El Paso didn’t last too long though. My Stepdad just started a job with the Federal Government, which ment I would be starting 1st grade in the small coast side town of Lompoc, California.

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